How do you deal with conflict? Do you watch on from the sidelines, trying to determine the right party to side with? Or do you intervene as soon as you see those familiar tell-tale signs?  Perhaps you choose to avoid conflict altogether! When it comes to conflict resolution, there is a right way and a wrong way; whichever path you choose will either strengthen or weaken your team.

No matter what business you are in, one key point that will determine your success will be how you choose to deal with conflict. Note the decision to use the word “choose” in this sentence. It’s intentional because that is exactly what conflict, and particularly conflict resolution is; a choice. In order to strengthen your team through it, you need to be doing conflict right.

Conflict is integral to the learning and development of any business or organisation. However, when poorly handled, we all now the negative impact that conflict can have. Healthy conflict can only be positive in the long term. When it comes down to it, it’s less about understanding the issue as it is understanding the people involved.

Here are four conflict resolution tips that can help strengthen your team:

Understand that everybody has good intentions

When you sit down and try to work through conflicts with your team, the thing that is likely to stand out to you the most is how most people want to get along. Their innate desire is to be liked. Therefore, understand that the intentions behind their conflict, no matter how skewed they may seem, are likely to have been good. If they are truly invested in your organisation, their passion will manifest in a number of different ways.

A good way to get around to encouraging team members to actually talk to you about their recent conflict is by talking about anything other than the recent conflict. This will undoubtedly allow you to connect. This will put them at ease and make it much easier for them to be open, honest, and therefore for all parties to work for a lasting resolution.

Listen to people

Sounds simple, huh? Truth is, many supervisors being natural leaders, we may not always allow team members the space to truly express their thoughts! A simple encouraging, “talk to me, what’s happened/is happening?” can be enough. To be a good listener you have to give them the opportunity to express their feelings. Remember that, while their point of view might not seem right to you, to them it is the only one! Address them only after endeavouring to understand it.

Give those involved time to cool off

Once you have heard a team member’s opinion, it’s important to allow them time to cool off. If the conflict was a particularly difficult and multifaceted one, perhaps something that has been going on for some time, they will likely begin repeating themselves. The best way to respect this but also stop them from getting caught up in it, is to acknowledge that you have listened and understood their opinions.

Don’t add to the confrontation with your perspective

This is the part where resolution can either strengthen or fail. Why? Well, it’s obviously very important to offer your perspective in order to round up and resolve the issue. However, under no circumstance should it exacerbate the issue. Rather, honour their opinion while offering yours. This will inspire respect - both towards you and to whoever else was involved in the conflict.